


A day to fall

by SecretsTellNoLies



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Canon verse, Complete, Did I mention fluff?, Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, One-Shot, Rated for Levi, can it be called that even?, first published fanfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-26
Updated: 2013-12-26
Packaged: 2018-01-06 04:27:07
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1102392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SecretsTellNoLies/pseuds/SecretsTellNoLies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi doesn’t know why this day should be made more special than any other, but perhaps it’s not such a bad thing. For there’s something in the air and it’s affixed him in it’s grasp.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A day to fall

**Author's Note:**

> Summary has shit all to do with the fic. First published ereri fic, oh and sorta-not-really birthmas fic. (I adjusted it to be a birthday fic) BUT I REALLY WANTED TO CONTRIBUTE SO ENJOY!! (also if any lines seem familiar they are, I was listening to ed sheeran for the first draft). I know it's late but meh. ALSO I HOPE YOU ENJOY!!! ^^ Excuse the short length.

Warm amber rays are the only breach into the hush of Levi’s office. Quiet broken only by soft swipes of a cloth and the dull bumps of his books being moved. The light reaches towards the sounds, releasing splashes of gold against tan, white, brown, Blue yet green.

A relaxing moment caught between him and Eren, here on the cusp of evening. The muted breeze whispers yearning into his ear. It is peaceful like it rarely is and Levi has too many wishes for them all to be granted. Regardless if it is his fucking birthday or not. He wishes it would last; wishes for more than he should hope to have.

Wishes to speak.

'Settle down with me Eren, I'll be your safety'

He sighs instead eyes shifting away from the response; warm smile spread across tan cheeks, a gesture just for him.

It has been sent his way many times today. Has had the gall to reach deep inside him and twist, the feeling accompanied by fluttering. Levi doesn’t know what the fuck Eren thinks he’s doing, but he lets him be.

On his own birthday of all days, and the celebratory occasion it falls on. Surely today he can exercise a bit of leniency.

He gazes outside, the sunset painting an image of beauty. Paints across the landscape a sense of calm, of ease.

Peace is the unassuming titan of their world. The invisible one, the one that eats naught but your trembling sanity. These contented moments have lulled many a soldier into a false sense of security, striking once they lose their will to fight and drags them down into the abyss. They will oftentimes shriek and refuse to fight any longer, chasing the phantom cries of their fallen comrades down into the dark or fleeing with the hand of their beloved in their grasp. Either way they fall down and do not get back up.

This peace, that those soldiers thought could be achieved through turned backs, is a futile and shitty fancy. True peace is to be reached only after the last wisps of steam have evaporated, curling into the atmosphere and the dust settles on their final blood coated battlefield.

For all this knowledge; the consequences of feeling such complacency within himself, it does not stop Levi from approaching the abyss. The same knowledge of what he must do instead of what he wishes for, it is the only barrier to stop him from plunging headfirst into the darkness.

He will fight. He must.

That does not mean he cannot cherish this stolen moment. Cherish what is granted him on this day. Cherish Eren.

So he bites down on his tongue, quashes his longing and slips out of his chair.

Soft taps announce his growing proximity to Eren. Eren who has halted in his task of aesthetic cleaning.

(‘Why the fuck are you cleaning my bookshelf?’

A shrug

‘It's a present to you?’)

Blue-green eyes are tracking him, a glimmer of understanding peeking out from behind mild amusement.

'Damn those eyes'

Levi thinks he falls for blue-green every time their shade brightens his day. Falls for them even as he laments. For while they see deep into his being they remain blissfully ignorant of all his jagged cracks and shadowed corners.

Once again he berates himself, asks himself what the hell he is doing with such a soldier as Eren. Humanity’s hope stands in a light too bright for him to want to covet. He doesn’t know what he has done to deserve the young man with the eyes that trap him. To deserve anything that has been delivered to him from the fleeting moments of happiness to the paradoxical increased and decreased surety of his safety in this cruel world.

But Eren is looking down at him again, waiting, those stupidly beautiful eyes of his, an all encompassing embrace. One he continues to fall into all too willingly.

They find themselves in Levi’s bed, Eren’s heart against his chest, lips pressed to his neck. It is peaceful again, both in mind and heart. More than that it is warm. Levi is always sure in these moments of easy entanglement that he was made to warm the space beside Eren, as the young man was made to warm the space beside him.

Eren’s lips travel from his neck, upwards, lazily tracking a path to his waiting ones. Murmuring another ‘happy birthday’ as he goes. Smirks at the resulting growl before he claims the mans lips.

He kisses like he wants to be loved. Wants to never let go of the warmth they create between two hearts.

It is in these moments that Levi feels like falling in love.

He has resisted so far. Rejecting eventual heartbreak, eventual grief. Won’t allow his heart to be torn asunder, whether it be by his own passing or Eren’s. Or one by the hand of the other.

For all his strength he is weak. Fucking useless is what it is. He is not strong enough to want to let go, knows that no matter who goes first, if they go by the others hand or even if they go together. Because it won’t be together. He entertains no notions of living again and meeting in peaceful times as many others do. It is not what gets him through today.

If he loves Eren he wants it to be in this lifetime and forever.

When he dies he won’t know what, if anything, awaits his tarnished being. If his most dear ones will be there to welcome him or not, he can only write off as fanciful wishing. But Eren is kissing him again. Slow and yearning. And his mind calms once again.

Maybe it is the amber rays darkening to russet morphing to aubergine. Maybe it is his heart drumming against his own. Maybe it is the leniency he has granted himself today.

Maybe it is none of those.

Or maybe it is the melancholic whisper Eren lets loose into the air.

"Levi, let’s live by the ocean together one day"

He is uncertain what exactly pushes him, but Levi lets himself fall.

The gaping maw of the abyss that he has been steadily circling after first holding Eren seems to loom, that peace he wants to covet is a sword hanging over his neck. Will he fail to get to his feet like so many before him have?

If he was strong enough he might be able to sever these feelings for Eren. He is not. He only has the strength to fight. To push forward. Humanity’s strongest must have this much. And he does.

So he will fight. He will fall. To attain the peace that lingers tauntingly there. He will procure it, for his fallen comrades, his comrades still living, for Humanity. Most of all, he will procure it for himself and Eren.

To long for peace is to dive into battle. To truly attain it is to emerge from the abyss victorious, dragging it behind them, kicking and screaming like the little shit it is. Those before him only chased after it, were not prepared to swing their blade for it. They foolishly lost themselves and the lives of any who followed.

But. Eren is not like them. His determination too fierce, anger a raging inferno. Levi thinks he’s been a fucking fool on his own.

"Yes Eren, settle down with me"

Eren smiles.

He will not wish to meet up with his Eren in a future time free of titans, will not wish for these contented moments to last, will not wish for what is out of his reach.

He will eradicate all the titans, will create a future where no death is looming metres above them, will grasp what he could not before.

Levi is glad he let himself fall for Eren on this quiet evening. He is the leading light that gets him through today.

“Happy birthday, Levi” Yes. Indeed.


End file.
